Paperclip
by Enji
Summary: G1. Mirage gets to learn something new while talking to Blaster. Slightly slashy, Mirage/Sideswipe. Just a random silly idea, that somehow morphed into more. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own, please don't sue.

* * *

"So… what's this we're watching again?"

Blaster was looking intently at the TV that was blasting out some kind of music and showing a jumble of shots of a human running around, fiddling with stuff and jumping away from explosions.

"I told you, it's called television. It's kind of like holoshows back home, but of course a lot less advanced. Anyway, it's mainly used for entertainment, although sometimes they show newscasts as well, and some other stuff." Mirage looked up from the datapad he was reading and glanced at the TV screen. "Although I have no idea what this stuff is. Looks like a new show. MacGyver… haven't heard of it before."

"Hmm." Blaster said. "So this is entertainment here then?"

"Mm-hm." Mirage said distractedly, leaning back in the sofa and returning to his datapad, tuning out the theme music from the TV. He'd never been particularly interested in human entertainment, which he considered far inferior to what had been produced on Cybertron before the war, and if he understood things right even humans thought that most of the stuff on television was junk. Why they still watched it was beyond him. He could, however, see how a mech like Blaster, who always craved something new and flashy, would be intrigued by it. Especially since Blaster had only been awake on Earth for about four days, ever since they had excavated part of the Ark that had collapsed in the crash and found several of their comrades there, still in stasis. Having been revived and endowed with an Earth alt form he now spent most of his free time taking in Earth's different forms of entertainment.

Everything was quiet in the lounge for a while, except for the sounds from the TV set. Most 'bots were on duty or preferring to spend time elsewhere, so Blaster and Mirage where almost alone in the room, except for a few minibots sitting at a table on the other side of the room, chatting animatedly about something.

"Now that was pretty cool", Blaster suddenly said. Mirage looked up from his datapad, contemplating for a moment if he should ask and risk a long explanation. Curiosity got the better of him.

"What?" he said.

"This MacGyver guy just used a paperclip to defuse a nuclear warhead. Now, that's what I call inventive!"

"A paperclip? How is that possible?" Mirage said, somewhat misbelieving.

"Ah, he managed to short-circuit the timing device, ya know, un-bending that little thing and using it on the wires. He's pretty smart this guy, for a human."

"Short-circuiting with a paperclip… now that's a new idea. Don't tell Red about it or he'll confiscate all paperclips as potential weapons. Imagine getting short-circuited by stationery." Mirage chuckled softly.

"Hmm", Blaster said, looking thoughtful, a small smile on his face. "It's not too bad…"

Mirage whipped his head around, staring at the larger 'bot next to him.

"What? That has happened to you?"

Blaster snapped out of his reverie, grinning at Mirage.

"Yup."

"You got short-circuited by a paperclip?"

"Well it wasn't a paperclip, it was a short piece of wire, but the principle was the same, so, yup."

"How?"

"Eh, just poked it into a circuit. Easy."

"Why?" Mirage asked, totally bewildered.

Blaster leveled him with a look.

"Because it's _good_, that's why. You can do it to others too, or have them do it to you. Oh man, was _that _a night to remember…" He started to drift off, remembering a time long ago, back on Cybertron. Mirage coughed.

"You mean you got off by short-circuiting yourself? But… isn't that dangerous?"

"Yeah, so? Danger just adds to the pleasure, babe."

Mirage leaned back in the sofa.

"Wow", he finally said. "So… you just place it… where?"

"Well, it's better the closer you get to the spark, but also more dangerous. You have to find a nice balance. Why, you thinking of testing?" Blaster said with a lewd grin.

"What, me? No!" Mirage protested.

They sat in silence for a while, watching MacGyver make a rocket of a flare gun, plug a sulfuric acid leak with chocolate and make a bomb from gelatin and sodium. The show ended and Blaster changed to another channel, this one showing a tennis tournament. He watched the game for a few minutes before apparently deciding it was boring and he started to flip through the channels.

"So…" Mirage finally said. "You know where to get hold of a paperclip?"

* * *

A/N: Yes, that is the pilot episode of MacGyver they're watching, which aired September 29 1985, four days after the first airing of Dinobot Island, the episode where Blaster first shows up. Yes, I do silly research. :-P


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This was originally just a oneshot, but for some reason I felt like writing another part to it. Rather short, but there you are. There is also one more part already written, and one in the works. I don't really know how this silly thing managed to morph into more, oh well. The next part should be up in a few days, I just need to leave it alone for a few days before re-reading it and fixing stuff. :-)

* * *

Sideswipe sauntered into the rec room together and went straight to the energon dispenser to pour himself a mug. He downed the liquid in one gulp, and began pouring another.

"Hey!" Cliffjumper exclaimed from behind him. "Don't hog the dispenser, there're others who want to get some energon too!"

Sideswipe turned around, looking around, pretending not to see the smaller bot.

"Really? I don't see anyone." He turned back to the dispenser, finishing pouring his mug. "Relax", he added when the minibot started to seethe, "I won't drink it all." He grabbed his mug and took a few steps away from the dispenser and the short-tempered minibot, and let his gaze wander about the room. His optics took in the sofa in front of the TV. _Ah_. Now that was a rather welcome sight. Grin plastered on his face, he strolled up to the sofa where two mechs were sitting.

"Hello there Mirage", he said, grin widening as he took in the blue-and-white mech on the sofa.

"Oh, hi Sideswipe", Mirage answered. "How are you?"

"Fine. Actually, a lot better now I found you here…" the red mech said, leaning in close and crawling up into the sofa, straddling Mirage's lap.

"Uh, Sideswipe, what are you doi–" Mirage tried to say as Sideswipe swept in, grabbed his head between his hands and kissed him thoroughly. As he pulled away Mirage stared at him, optics wide, but he made no move to push Sideswipe away.

"What brought _that_ on?" he asked, somewhat breathily.

"Just seeing my favourite little spy sitting here, with no company except for that racket-lover over there", Sideswipe answered, grinning at Blaster who just grinned back.

"Hey man, yo dissin' my music?" he quipped back.

"Yeah, whatever." Sideswipe turned back to Mirage, resting his arms on the smaller bot's shoulders. "So, what where you two talking about before I showed up?"

"Umm–" Mirage started, but Blaster cut him off.

"Paperclips."

Sideswipe looked over at him.

"Paperclips?"

"Paperclips."

"Those little pieces of metal humans use to keep papers together?"

"The same."

Sideswipe seemed to ponder this for a second, brow furrowed in thought.

"No", he finally said. "You got me there. Why, by all things holy, where you discussing paperclips?" He looked at Mirage with such a confused expression the spy could not keep from laughing out softly.

"Well…" Mirage said, "it wasn't as much discussing paperclips as discussing what you could… ehm, _do _with paperclips..." he trailed off, somewhat embarrassed.

"Do…?"

Blaster spoke up again.

"Like short-circuiting yourself into overload, is what he's trying to say."

Sideswipe suddenly grinned again.

"Ah, _that_ old trick! Never heard about a paperclip used before though, I mean, it's usually a bit of spare wire or–"

Mirage sputtered.

"Are you telling me you have… done this too?"

Sideswipe cocked his head.

"Oh yeah… wait, you haven't?"

"No!"

"Hmm…" Sideswipe slowly trailed a finger over Mirage's chest plate, staring at it intently for a second before rising his gaze and looking at Mirage with a decidedly lecherous smile. "Wanna try?"

"Sides!" Mirage exclaimed, scandalized.

"What?"

"You're embarrassing me." He hissed out. "Where not alone here, as you might notice."

"Don't mind me. I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't heard a word of what you two've been talking about," Blaster said with an innocent smile, turning away while playing some jaunty music through his stereos. "Besides," he muttered under his breath, "I distinctly remember someone asking where he could get a paperclip…"

Sideswipe grinned at him while Mirage continued to look mortified.

"So, what do you say?" Sideswipe whispered, leaning in so he was almost helmet to helmet with the spy.

Mirage exhaled slowly. It was difficult resisting the closeness of the handsome, cheeky red mech smiling so enticingly at him. He smiled back somewhat sheepishly, letting one finger wander along the broad red chest plate in front of him.

"I admit… my curiosity has indeed been piqued."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Slightly longer, this, it's all Red Alert's fault, he kinda took over what was originally just supposed to be a short interlude. I'm not entirely happy with it, but it seems like it just wants to be this way.

* * *

"Right, so these monitors show the entrance of the Ark."

Red Alert pointed to the screens in front of him.

"Yes", Hound said. "As I just said–"

"And _these_", Red pointed towards another set of monitors, "are covering the main hallway."

"Yes. Red, we've been through this three times already, don't you think–"

"And then we have this screen," Red Alert continued, totally ignoring Hound, "showing–" he paused and looked up at the scout, who fidgeted slightly under the gaze. "Yes, showing what, exactly?"

"Er, the rec room?"

"No!" Red yelled as he slammed his hand into the console, making the green mech jump slightly.

"No? Then what?" Hound asked, perplexed. He peered at the screen again; making absolutely sure it was the rec room. Yep. No mistaking that tv set. He looked at the security chief who seemed to be close to a breakdown. Primus, this was so not in his job description!  
_"Show Red Alert the Security Office"_, Ironhide had said._ Inform him of our __security routines. Then take him__ to the __rec__ room to get some energon before he can start working."_ It had sounded so straightforward and easy. But no, during the time Red and the other newly awakened Autobot's had been in stasis, Hound had apparently managed to forget how thorough (some would say obsessive) Red Alert was. He wanted to go through _everything_. Twice. And then again, just in case. _And_ he had comments. Even Hound's infinite patience was starting to crack slightly.

"Can't you see it? It's _obvious!_" Red's voice cut through again. "See?" He pointed at the screen as though it was offending him.

"…there's something wrong with the couch?" Hound ventured.

"The couch! The _couch_! Why is that camera trailed on the couch, and not at the door, or the appallingly uncovered vents, where a possible intruder could enter?"

"Uh–"

"And those cameras outside the Ark… who put those up? They're not overlapping! There are huge holes in the surveillance where Decepticons could enter! In fact, those cassettes could be infiltrating the Ark _right now_!"

"Take it easy, Red. Security's worked pretty well so far, and I very much doubt the 'Cons are sneaking in at this very moment. I don't really see–"

"That's _exactly_ the problem. You don't see it. You don't understand the importance of good security. Primus knows it's a good thing I'm here now…" He started tapping on a keyboard, calling up data about old routines, checking firewalls and virus protection, all the while muttering under his breath.

"…don't even change the passwords routinely… need a _lot_ more cameras… is there a _reason_ the Ark don't even have a front door?"

Hound just sighed and sat back for a moment, watching the newly awakened security chief work. He had a feeling it would be a while before he could pry Red from his screens and convince him to come to the rec room to refuel a bit. Dammit, it was a nice, sunny autumn day outside! He should be out there, enjoying the nature of this planet, not in this stuffy office with a security chief who seemed to become more and more neurotic with every passing moment. A small sound by the door shook him from his dreams of forests, clear skies and the earth beneath his wheels.

"Hound?"

"Oh, hi Spike!" Hound turned cheerfully to the new arrival, glad for any distraction from Red's mumbling commentary of the shortcomings of the Autobots' security defenses.Spike opened his mouth to say something, but was beaten to it by the security chief who spun around in his chair, staring at the human.

"What's that?" he asked suspiciously, looking at Spike who seemed to be a bit taken back by the scrutiny of an Autobot he hadn't met before.

Hound chuckled. "Spike, this is Red Alert, our security chief. Red, meet Spike Witwicky."

"And I'm not a _what_", Spike said, slightly offended.

"He and his father Sparkplug are allowed to come and go as they wish. Surely Optimus must have told you about that during your first briefing on our situation?"

"Hmm", Red said, still a bit on edge. "He might have." He turned to Spike with a pensive look. "Spike, right?"

"Uh, yeah", Spike answered, somewhat intimidated by this strange mech who seemed overly suspicious of him. Red just nodded to himself.

"I guess that's all right then. But I want you to know one thing. From now on, no one – and I mean _no one_ – comes into my office without A, calling ahead; B, proper clearance and C, my direct approval."

"No one except Inferno", Hound injected with a smile.

"No one except In–" Red repeated before realizing what he just said and shut his mouth with an audible click. "Shut up, you." He scowled at the green scout.

Spike frowned, wondering what that was about, but decided not to ask. Red turned his attention back at the human. "So, what did you come here for, Spike?"

Hound turned to him as well. "Yes, was there anything special?" he asked kindly.

"Oh! Yeah, right. See, thing is I'm missing something, and I thought, hey, you're pretty good at finding stuff, right?" He looked at Hound with a hopeful expression.

"Depends on what you're missing, Spike", Hound said.

"It's– well, it's my box of paperclips."

"Paperclips?" Hound sounded confused.

"Yeah! And I know that normally it wouldn't be a problem, but I've got a report due tomorrow and I really could use some paperclips to keep those papers from falling apart and getting everywhere and– never mind. Point is, they're gone, and I _know_ they were in my drawer the last time I checked! Someone must have stolen them from me and I'd like to get them back." Spike finished, looking up at Hound.

"Stolen?" Red Alert had turned towards Spike again with a frown. "You mean someone took something from you? How? Don't you have a code to your quarters?"

"Umm… no?"

"No?" Red leaned forward in his chair, one hand clutching a horn on his helmet tightly, as a small spark flew from it. "Well then", he said weakly, "maybe the culprit has been caught on camera. Which one gives the view of the hallway outside his quarters, Hound?"

H grimaced. "Actually… there is no camera there, Red."

This time a larger spark flared from Red Alert's horn, and he brought his other hand up as head, keening softly. "No… camera?" he managed to get out. "The implications… anyone could have been there… how are we ever going to find those paperclips now?" He leaned back against the console, looking weak.

Spike looked at the security chief, faintly worried.

"Hey, don't sweat it. It was only a box of paperclips… it's not like someone's been shot or anything." Spike said, trying to calm the neurotic officer.

"Just a box– that's exactly the kind of attitude that leads to lax surveillance and breaches in security, and eventually to our doom! I can't take this anymore, this place is a joke!"

"Come on Red", Hound said gently, hoping to defuse the situation before Red fritzed. "Let's just go get some energon, and then–"

"No! I cannot leave with security so evidently below any civilized standards! I must try to at least plug _some_ of those abominable holes. As it is we're practically _inviting_ Decepticons to come in here. It will take ages to get this place running as it should… I just hope the 'Cons won't attack before that and kill us all." He shook his head slowly as he fixed his attention on the console in front of him. He was totally absorbed by it, seemingly forgetting Hound and Spike.

"Okay, Red… I'll get some energon for you then?"

"Just leave it outside and I'll take it", Red muttered. He seemed to have plugged himself into one of the consoles and was almost oblivious to anything else.

Hound sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing with the security officer when he was plugged into the system.

"Right. Come on Spike, let's go find your missing paperclips."

* * *

A/N: I'm not too fond of fics that portrait Red as just paranoid and neurotic, with no other qualities (after all, he _does_ do his job well), but eh. Besides, I figure he _would_ be rather upset if he woke up from stasis to discover the security so below par. Poor thing.


	4. Chapter 4

"So, this is it?"

Sideswipe nodded emphatically.

"They're rather… small."

Mirage peered into the tiny box in Sideswipe's hand, trying to make out the miniscule pieces of bent metal wire within. The box seemed to be made of some kind of transparent plastic, and Sideswipe handled it like it was likely to break any moment. He had bounded into Mirage's quarters with the box, a surprisingly short time after he had left in search of the paperclips.

Sideswipe lifted the box to his optics and looked at the paperclips.

"Uhh… yeah, well. I guess it couldn't hurt to try, though? Now that I've gone through all the work of obtaining these."

Mirage looked at the red mech. "Speaking of that… where _did_ you find those? I assume you didn't just waltz into a human store asking to buy them."

"Well, no. They were in Spike's drawer."

"He gave you those?"

"Uh… not really…" Sideswipe said slowly.

"You stole them."

"Not stole! I borrowed them!"

Mirage glared at him. Sideswipe fidgeted slightly.

"Borrowed without permission. Without asking." Pause. "Or with any intention to return them", he grudgingly finished.

"That's pretty much the definition of 'stole', Sides."

"Maybe, but it just sounds so… harsh. I prefer to think of it as acquiring. Or liberating. Those poor paperclips all locked up in that drawer, dreaming of the light of day, yearning for freedom! I've rescued them, that's what!"

"By stealing them", Mirage said, but he couldn't completely hide a smile. "Anyway, how's this supposed to work? I can't even see how we're supposed to grip those things."

"Hmm", Sideswipe said, trying to pick up a paperclip, muttering a small oath when he discovered that the box was too small for his fingers. "Slaggit…" He turned the box over in his other hand, emptying it into his palm. Mirage just looked at him dubiously.

"Now let's see", Sideswipe said as he tried to pinch one of the tiny paperclips between his thumb and forefinger. "Aha!" He held up a paperclip with a triumphant grin. "There, I knew I could– oops! Umm, did you see where it went?" He looked around himself, staring at the floor. "Never mind, I'll just take another one."

"Sides, I'm not so sure about this…" Mirage said, arms crossed over his chest.

"Why is that? Oh hey, I've got one now."

"Uh-huh. You dropped the first one. What if that were to happen while we were… ehm… _using_it? I would _not_ appreciate having one of those lost inside of me."

"Oh please, I won't drop it. Give me some credit, Mirage! I've got a great grip here." To emphasize his point the red mech waved his hand about. The paperclip flew in a perfect arc across the room, hit the opposite wall and fell down behind Mirage's desk. Sideswipe turned a sheepish grin on the blue-and-white, who sat down on the berth and put a hand to his face.

"I guess I can't convince you that I meant to do that?" Sideswipe said.

Mirage looked up at him, and couldn't really help but be amused at his lover and his happy optimism. He shook his head. 

"Not really", he said. "Besides, even if you had a really good grip, you'd need to straighten the whole thing, and how were you going to do that? And even if you _could_ do that, –which I don't really doubt given enough time–" he injected seeing Sideswipe's stubborn expression, "it would _still_ be too small. I'm sorry, but I don't think this will work."

Sideswipe's shoulders slumped slightly, as if some of the optimism leaked out of him at hearing Mirage's words. He looked at the paperclips still in his hand.

"Hmm", he said. "Maybe if we weld a few of them together?" he said, almost desperately. Mirage couldn't help himself; he laughed outright.

"Weld? These tiny things? Where are you going to find a welder that small?" 

Sideswipe turned a hurt look on him, and he immediately regretted that he had laughed at the red mech. After all, Sideswipe was just trying to do something nice for him; it wasn't fair to be shooting him down like that.

"I didn't think of that, I guess… but there must be _something_ we can do!" His voice took on a small whine and he looked so forlorn Mirage thought his spark would melt. He rose and stepped up to the Lamborghini, closing the distance between them and placed a hand on the red mech's cheek, looking into his optics.

"Sideswipe, it's okay. It's not that important to me."

"But I wanted to please you! I wanted to make you happy, I–" Sideswipe said in a low, unhappy voice.

"Shh." Mirage placed a finger over Sideswipe's mouth. "You already make me happy just by being here. As for the pleasing part, well, you certainly don't need any… _accessories_ for that, I know that for a fact", he said in a suggestive voice before leaning in, kissing the red Lambo. Sideswipe answered eagerly, wrapping his arms around his lover. In the process he dropped the plastic box and all of the paperclips, which fell to the floor with a small tinkle.  
They broke apart softly, Sideswipe with a small content sigh. 

"Better?" Mirage asked.

Sideswipe nodded. "Much better. Although, I know a way this can get better still…"

As he dragged his lover over to the berth and gently pushed him down, he paused for a second with a feral grin.

"You know", he said, "who needs paperclips anyway?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh come on, you can't be serious."

Blaster's exclamation was the first thing Hound and Spike heard as they entered the recreation room to get some energon to bring back to Red Alert. They looked curiously at the sofa, where Jazz and Blaster sat, apparently deep in some kind of discussion.

"Why not?" Jazz asked, sounding a bit affronted.

"It's silly!" Blaster replied. "Not to mention indecent. And–"¨

"Indecent? This coming from _you_?" Jazz snorted. "I distinctly remember that time when you–"

"Ahem." Hound had decided to make his presence known and cleared his voice. Blaster and Jazz both turned around in the sofa, facing the newcomers.

"Ey, if it isn't the best scout in the Ark!" Jazz graced them with his trademark smile, arms wide in greeting. "And Hound too, what a surprise!" Spike let out a small laugh, making the saboteur grin even wider. "What's up, little one?" the black-and-white mech continued.

"Just getting some energon for Red Alert", Spike answered, then frowned slightly. "What where you two talking about?" he asked.

"Oh, we were just discussing which Madonna song is the best."

"Madonna?" Hound looked perplexed.

"She's a human singer", Jazz explained. "Dead sexy too, according to the guy on the radio, although I dunno. Human aesthetics still baffle me. Is she, Spike?"

"Eh?" was all Spike could say. "What?"

"Is she dead sexy?" Jazz repeated.

"Uhh, umm… I dunno… I guess so…" Spike trailed off, feeling his face getting red. Jazz on the other hand just nodded, as if he'd learned something of great importance.

"Ya know", Blaster said, "your language really makes no sense. _Dead_ sexy? What's so sexy about a corpse? As far as I know human corpses decay and kinda just decompose into a stinkin' mush and mix of bones and guts and stuff like that. Doesn't sound much like a turn-on to me."

Spike blanched, looking slightly sick.

"Umm, I don't know. It's just something you say…"

"Well, it's still weird", Blaster said dismissively.

"Uh, so, what do you think is this human's best song then, Jazz?" Hound asked carefully, trying to change the subject from rotting organics. Jazz just looked at him as if he'd just asked what color Optimus Prime was.

"Duh. _Material Girl_, of course", he answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Spike had to hide a small laugh behind his hand as he had a vision of Jazz prancing about singing about how he was a material girl.

"I still prefer _Like a Virgin_", Blaster said, and Spike almost had to stuff his hand in his mouth as his brain produced more unwanted images. Oh God, he did not need to imagine that.

"Is there anything wrong, Spike?" Hound asked worriedly. Spike just shook his head, trying desperately not to think of big alien robots crawling around and stretching provocatively in a gondola.

"Uh, nothing, Hound. Shouldn't we just get what we came here for?" he said, trying to change the subject.

Hound nodded and went for the energon dispenser to pour a mug for Red Alert. Jazz, however, wasn't deterred so easily.

"Hey", he said, "why don't we let Spike decide?"

"Me? Decide what?" Spike asked.

"Who is right, of course. Which song is the better, _Material Girl_ or _Like a Virgin_?"

"Well…" Spike began. "I don't really listen much to Madonna…" He wasn't about to tell two large mechs who apparently liked her that he considered Madonna to be rather uncool and something only girls listened to.

"You can still have an opinion", Jazz ventured. "You must have heard the songs. They play them all the time on your radio."

Spike looked up at the two 'bots that was were watching him intently, clearly waiting for an answer.

"Ehm…" he said.

"Yes?" Blaster said, leaning forward.

He never got to know what Spike was going to say though, for Hound chose that moment to return to them.

"Ready to go, Spike?" the scout asked, to Spike's great relief. "We need to get this to Red before we go looking for your paperclips."

At the mention of paperclips Blaster tensed slightly, although he quickly hid it, sinking down in the sofa again. Jazz, however, noticed, and looked curiously at the boombox.

"Paperclips?" he asked Hound.

"Spike's box of paperclips has gone missing", Hound explained.

"Who would want to steal paperclips?" Jazz asked, noting that Blaster seemed to be trying to hide a huge grin.

"Yes, I'd like to know that too."

All four around the sofa turned towards the new voice, belonging to the Autobot's second in command, who had been sitting at a table a little bit away, and now got up to walk towards them. Apparently he'd been listening in on their conversation. Prowl looked at them with a frown.

"It's not that big a deal…" Spike murmured, a bit embarrassed by everyone making such a fuss of his missing paperclips.

"Stealing is a big deal to me. If any Autobots on this base steal anything from a comrade they will have to answer to me. We cannot have anyone running around disrespecting other people's rights of ownership." He turned towards Hound. "Do you have any leads?"

"We haven't really got that far yet. Need to give Red Alert his energon before we start to search", Hound replied.

Prowl nodded. "If you need any help, please don't hesitate to ask. I can assign you some help if you want."

"Thanks, Prowl", Hound said with a smile. "That would be helpful." Spike sighed to himself. Really, they were taking this so seriously it was silly. He almost started to regret that he'd even told anyone about those paperclips. Now Prowl apparently wanted to make a full crime investigation! For _paperclips_! Whenever he thought he had the Autobots figured out they always managed to surprise him.

"Is there anyone special you would like on your team?" Prowl continued. (_Team!_ Spike thought. Now _they had a team!_)"I can only let you have someone who's off normal duty, of course, but you can have your pick there."

Jazz was practically jumping out off the sofa, pushing Blaster out of the way.

"Hey, let me! I've always wanted to solve a crime!"

"Well, I guess you have one there. Now, I think you need one more person… " Prowl seemed to think for a while.

Blaster turned a grin at them that was full of amusement. "How about Mirage?" he said.

"Yes, that would be a good choice", Prowl said, nodding. "All right, I'll contact him about it, if you go and leave that energon with Red before he starves to death." Prowl watched Hound and Spike leave, then turned to the two mechs in the sofa.

"You know", he said, "You are both wrong. The best Madonna song is clearly _Into the Groove_." He turned and walked out of the rec room, leaving two surprised mechs behind.

* * *

A/N: The music video to _Like a Virgin_ shows Madonna dancing in a gondola in Venice. Hence Spike's mental picture.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I just noticed that maybe the timeframe of this fic isn't exactly clear, since part 4 is actually taking place before part 3. Part 4 takes place in the evening of the same day as parts 1 and 2, and part 3 and onwards in the morning the day after. Maybe I whould switch those chapters around, I'm not sure. Umm, I hope I make sense with this explanation. Anyway, on to the next part! Enjoy!

* * *

A soft buzzing alerted Mirage to the fact that someone was trying to contact him. He shook his head slightly, trying to shake of his recharge, and answered the call.

"Yeah?" he said in the com, wincing when he heard how sluggish his voice sounded.

"Mirage, this is Prowl. Please report to the command room in half an hour. Prowl out."

"Righ–" Mirage began, but Prowl had already terminated the call without Mirage's confirmation. He just sighed softly to himself and began to slowly easy out from under Sideswipe's arm which was slung over him, trying not to wake the sleeping mech next to him. He knew Sideswipe would be getting on the night shift this cycle, and would probably need all the recharge he could get before that. Especially after the… rather _exhausting_ activities of last night. He smiled fondly at the memory as he gently lifted Sideswipe's arm and slipped out of his grip. The warrior seemed not to notice, he just curled up a little bit more on his side, tucking both hands under his chin.  
There, he was free. Now he just had the problem of getting off the berth, considering that he was by the wall and consequently had to get over Sideswipe to get off it. Lifting himself up on his arms he slowly tried to maneuver himself over the Lambo, but apparently he wasn't subtle enough, for halfway over he discovered two blue optics looking at him mischievously.

"Hi there, handsome", Sideswipe said, grinning at the pale face above him. Mirage looked down at him, apologetic.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you", Mirage began, but Sideswipe cut him off.

"Don't worry. I rather like waking up this way anyway. It's not every day one onlines to such a pretty sight." He twisted under Mirage so he was lying on his back, looking up at him with a sleepy expression. He stretched lazily, then snaked his arms around Mirage's waist.

"So, why were you trying to sneak away from me?" he asked with a wry grin. Mirage sighed.

"I got a call from Prowl. He needs me for something, it seems."

"He didn't tell you what it was about?"

"No… guess I'll know when I get there."

"Hmmpf." Sideswipe seemed to think for a short while. "Well then, I think he can wait for a little while, right?" he said with a mischievous grin and yanked the Ligier close to him.

"Sides!" Mirage exclaimed. "I really have to get– mmm, that's nice–" he said as the red mech started to stroke his back softly. "Hey, stop it! I have to get up now!" He laughed as he put action to his words and snaked out of Sideswipe's grip to stand up, ignoring the pout on his lover's face.

"Yeah, well, if you think that it's more important than me, just leave me all alone here." Sideswipe twisted around in the berth, turning his back on the room. Sighing softly he started to sing in a low voice.

_"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round…_"

Mirage just looked at him, amused.

"You're so dramatic sometimes", he said affectionately.

_"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears…"_ Sideswipe continued, raising his voice somewhat.

Used to the red twin's demonstrative behavior, Mirage just shook his head, smiling, and left the room. As the door slid shut behind him he could hear Sideswipe muttering something about getting back at Prowl, and he made a mental note to warn the tactician to watch his back the next few days.

Making his way to the rec room to get some energon before meeting up with Prowl he thought about what it was that the 2IC needed him for. It had to be something special, since he was really off-duty today, and he wondered what could be important enough to drag him out of his berth on a day off, but not important enough to force him to make his way there _immediately_. He stepped into the rec room, which was rather empty, since most 'bots on duty had already been there to get their morning energon. The only other occupant of the room was Blaster, who was sitting at the TV, watching cartoons. He turned around in the sofa, grinning broadly when he caught sight of Mirage and waving him over.

"Taking an interest in human children's shows now?" Mirage said lightly, leaning on the back of the sofa. Blaster nodded vigorously.

"Those humans have the weirdest imagination! You wouldn't believe the stuff they come up with… just look at this stuff." He pointed towards the TV. "I mean, that girl, Adora or something, is waving her sword and thus turn mighty or something. It's amazing!" He turned back to the TV, watching it happily.

Mirage looked unconvinced. As far as he could tell from the show it was badly drawn, with silly, clichéd characters and after watching for a few minutes he came to the conclusion that the plot was really stupid too, with some comically evil creatures out to steal someone's voice. He couldn't see what Blaster found so fascinating. Sipping on his energon he spoke up again.

"So, do you know–"

"Shh! Here comes the best part!" Blaster said, waving a hand to shut the spy up.

The young blonde woman on the screen held a rather garish sword above her head.

"For the honor of Grayskull!" the woman said, and the sword lit up, and there was a flurry of color and sparks surrounding her.

"Whoho!" Blaster yelled. "She-Ra, She-Ra!" Mirage just stared at him, wondering if something had gone wrong when waking him from stasis.

"You're insane", he said simply.

"Yep, and loving every minute of it", the boombox answered cheerily. He turned back to Mirage. "Was there anything you wanted to say?"

"Nothing important. I just wondered whether you know if something's happened since yesterday. I was called to the command room, and I don't really know why."

Blaster looked at him with an innocent expression that immediately put Mirage on guard.

"Happened? No, why would I know of anything? I've just been sitting here watching cartoons", he said, much too lightly to be believed. Mirage frowned. Blaster was hiding something, clearly enjoying it, and that was never a good sign. He wondered once again what his assignment would be, and figured he wouldn't know until he got over to the command room and found out. Besides, it had almost been half an hour now, and he didn't think watching cartoons with Blaster would be an acceptable excuse for being late. Prowl wasn't exactly known for his appreciation of inventive excuses.

"Well, I have to go. Take care." He pushed himself upright and headed towards the door. Blaster just waved his hand over his head, never taking his eyes of the screen, cheering when She-ra tricked and defeated a bunch of evil Horde drones.

A few minutes later he stepped into the command room, where not only Prowl was sitting in a chair, but he could see Hound, Jazz and Spike there as well, lounging about.

"Mirage. Good, you're here", Prowl said, turning towards him.

"Yes. What do you need me for, Prowl?" Mirage asked.

"There has been a theft on the Ark. We're making an investigation, and Blaster suggested that you could help. I agreed, considering your special abilities."

Blaster had suggested him? That might explain his smugness. But why? Mirage noticed Spike was looking rather embarrassed at the mention of investigation, and he suddenly had a queasy feeling in his tanks.

"…right", he said. He didn't want to know anything more about this, but he had to ask. He had to make sure. "What's been stolen?"

"Spike's box of paperclips."

Mirage carefully schooled his features into a neutral expression, despite the sinking feeling inside of him.

"You're willing to help, I hope? I can't force you, considering you're really off duty today, but it would be appreciated." Prowl continued.

"Yes. Yes, of course I'll help", Mirage said, careful not to look at Spike. Swearing inside he wondered how on Cybertron he had ended up in this situation. Well, the only question in his mind right now was who he was going to kill first, Sideswipe or Blaster. Because Primus help him, someone was going to have to pay for this.

* * *

A/N: Is it considered overkill to actually figure out the exact date this fic takes place, and figure out exactly what episode of She-Ra was broadcast that day? And to watch the whole episode on YouTube just so I should know what I was writing about? Naaaaah... ;-)

Oh, and I don't own _She-Ra: Princess of Power_ or the lyrics to _Total Eclipse of the Heart_, naturally.


	7. Chapter 7

As Mirage left the short briefing his murderous feelings against Sideswipe and Blaster had not diminished. In fact, if anything, they increased, as it slowly occurred to him what would happen if someone found those paperclips in his quarters. There would be the assumption that he'd stolen them, and there would be questions as to _why_ he had taken them, and if the reason came out… Primus, it would be truly mortifying. He grumbled a bit, earning him a glance from Jazz who walked out of the command room behind him. The saboteur sped up a little bit and came up beside him.

"Hey 'Raj, whaddya muttering about?" he said with a small grin.

"Nothing", Mirage grated out, looking away before he realized that a reaction like that clearly told Jazz there was indeed something.

"Uh-huh", Jazz said. "Right. Upset you can't spend the day playing around with a certain red prankster?"

Mirage started, and he knew he looked guilty. He stopped in his tracks and stared at Jazz.

"What? I– no– what are you implying?"

"Implying? Me?" Jazz looked at him with that innocent expression that only he could pull off. It usually meant he was up to something, or knew something he wasn't supposed to know. Could he have found out somehow about the paperclips? But how? And why didn't he just turn Mirage in if he knew? Mirage glared at him, suddenly annoyed with the Porsche. Why did he have to be so damned hard to read? Was Jazz going to blackmail him? Or maybe Jazz didn't know anything. Maybe he was just overreacting.

"What do you want, Jazz?" he asked, appalled with himself as he heard how unfriendly he sounded. He was certainly not acting like the normal, refined mech he usually was.

"Nothing", the Porsche said defensively. "Just wondered why you're being so jumpy and grumpy this morning. Is there anything wrong?"

"No." Mirage said curtly and started to walk again, turning his back on Jazz.

"Hey, hey, wait up!" The Porsche called and jogged a bit to catch up with the spy. "Don't be like that… I'm just concerned, that's all."

"I'm touched, Jazz, but there really isn't anything wrong with me. Everything's just… peachy. If you excuse me, we have an investigation to attend to. Weren't you supposed to go talk to Bee to see if any of the minibots know anything?"

With that he sped up, not looking back at the saboteur, heading for his quarters, mind churning. What had Jazz meant with that conversation? Had he really just been worried about Mirage, or did he know anything? With Jazz, nothing was certain. A thought suddenly hit him. What if Jazz or Hound talked to Blaster? Blaster had to know about the paperclips, and the fact that he'd suggested Mirage for this mission clearly showed that he'd put one and one together. But then, why hadn't he said anything at once? Why not tell the others where the paperclips were?  
Mirage moaned softly to himself as the answer presented itself. Blaster simply wanted to see what this would lead to, for his own amusement. The spy entertained a very satisfyingly thought of a squashed boombox, before entering the code to his room and hearing the door open with a whoosh.

He wasn't very surprised to see Sideswipe still there, stretched out on the berth, fiddling around with something in his hands that he quickly subspaced as Mirage stepped into the room. The warrior sat up on the berth, smiling at the spy.

"Back already?" he said with a grin. "What did Prowl–" he faltered at he saw Mirage cross his arms and look at him with a stern look. "Umm, babe, what is it?" he said a bit nervously.

Mirage didn't move. "Sideswipe, remind me again where you got the paperclips from."

"Spike's quarters?"

"Now, please refresh my memory, tell me if stealing is allowed on the Ark."

Sideswipe fidgeted. "…no?"

"Right. Now, tell me, if Prowl learns that something's been stolen, do you think he's going to a)laugh it off or b)make sure the culprit is caught and punished?" He held up a hand, stopping Sideswipe from answering. "I'll help you out there, it's _not_ alternative a."

Sideswipe looked at him, stricken.

"Does… does Prowl know I did it? Is that why he called you there?" he said.

"No. He called me to ask me to help with the investigation."

To Mirage's surprise and annoyance, Sideswipe burst into laughter at this.

"He _what_? Oh my, that's perfect!"

"Not for you it isn't." Mirage took a step forward, leaning over the red mech on the berth. "I'm going to turn you in." He gave Sideswipe a small half grin, which immediately made the Lamborghini cease his laughing.

"You wouldn't", the warrior said. "You can't prove I did it."

"I'm sure I can find something out. I'm _not_ going to take the fall for this."

"But… but… you can't. If you do I'll tell everyone that you wanted me to do it, _and_ I'll tell them what you wanted them for!"

That got Mirage reeling a bit.

"You wouldn't", he hissed, knowing full well that the Lamborghini definitely would. The mech truly was shameless.

"I would."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"That's blackmail", Mirage said.

"Yeah, so? You were gonna turn me in to Prowl." The red Lambo's voice took on a distinct whine, sounding like a scorned woman from a human soap opera. "How could you? Me? Don't you love me?"

"Oh, shush", Mirage said, but he couldn't help smile a little. Sideswipe truly could be pathetic sometimes.

"I need a hug", Sideswipe sniffled.

"You do not. Stop pretending."

This just seemed to encourage the red mech.

"You don't care about me! You don't care about my feelings… you just like me because I'm pretty", he said, pouting.

"Oh for the love of…" Mirage started. "All right, I'll give you a hug if you help me figure out a way to get out of this, okay?"

Sideswipe perked up immediately. "Deal!" he said, and sat back on the berth, looking pensive. "So, uh, no one knows who took them, then?" he ventured carefully after a short silence.

Mirage cocked his head, wondering where Sideswipe was going with this line of thought.

"I'm pretty sure Blaster knows it was one of us. After all, he was there when we discussed it, and he was the one to suggest me for the investigation. Probably just because he thought it would be funny." Mirage snorted derisively. "Also, I think Jazz might suspect something, but I don't know for sure."

"Hmm", Sideswipe said. "But they can't prove anything, right?"

"No."

"Then all we need is to get rid of the evidence, and they can't blame it on us. We just need to figure out how. Ideas?"

"Maybe… maybe we could just return them? I could sneak in and replace them in Spike's quarters, where he'll find them and just think he didn't look thoroughly enough?" Mirage said hesitantly.

"Eh–" Sideswipe said, fidgeting again on the berth. "That would be… unpractical."

"Why? I can use my invisibility, and no one needs to know the paperclips were ever gone." He looked around. "Where are they, by the way? Did you pick them up?"

"Uh, yeah–" Sideswipe started.

"Then what's the problem?"

Sideswipe didn't answer. He just unsubspaced the thing he'd been fiddling with when Mirage entered the room. It was the plastic box to the paperclips, or rather, what had previously been the box. Now it was just a bunch of sharp transparent shards mixed up with a few paperclips. Mirage stared at it.

"I, uh, I kinda happened to step on it", Sideswipe said sheepishly. "Maybe we can glue it back together…?"

Mirage sighed and sat down on the berth. They couldn't just return the box in the shape it was, Spike would surely suspect something and the investigation would continue. He rubbed his face tiredly. Primus, yesterday everything had been normal. And now… he didn't want to think about it.

"Well then", Mirage finally said. "What do you suggest we do?"

Sideswipe grinned widely, and Mirage immediately regretted asking him. Well, too late now, the reprobate had probably already an idea in his head, and trying to dissuade him was… difficult, to say the least.

"We frame someone else, of course!"

Mirage opened his mouth to protest, but another thought invaded his mind, and he slowly let a smile creep over his face.

"I admit…" he said, "The idea has merit. And I think I know _exactly _who we should frame, too."

Sideswipe stared at him with what seemed to be admiration.

"You know, 'Raj, you're kinda scary when you smile like that."

* * *

A/N: Ooh, who are they gonna frame? What will happen now? Well, don't ask me, I have no idea. I'm just the writer. I refuse to take responsability for what those crazy mechs decide to do. :-P  
Oh, and I have great problems writing Jazz way of talking. I think it's difficult enough writing in English without trying to write a certain accent or dialect more onomatopoeically. Thus I mainly write it normally instead of trying to imitate his way of talking and mess it up.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: This was written in the middle of the night, by an author high on sugar and caffeine from too much Coke. I really ought to go to bed now. It's 2.42am here but I don't think I could sleep now. I shouldn't drink stuff like this that keeps me awake all night. :-P Oh, and hugs to everyone who's left a review! And hugs to everyone else who read this too, 'cause I like you all. Hugs make the world better, methinks. Eh, enough with my late-night rambling.

* * *

"Hey there music man, d'you have some time?"

Blaster turned his head towards the door where Jazz stood, lounging against the frame.

"Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"Just wanted to ask you a few questions, if it's not a problem."

The bigger mech swiveled his chair around to face the saboteur.

"Nah, it's really quiet today", he said, waving a hand towards the communications console he was sitting at. "Guess the 'Cons are still licking their wounds after that last fiasco."

"Heh, yeah, they ought to. So, nothing happening then?"

"Just some stuff about this Japanese guy who seems to have built some kind of ninja robot or something. Don't really know about it, think Prime's gonna go there and check it out. Other than that, nothing." He cocked his head and grinned at Jazz. "How's the investigation going?"

"So-so", Jazz said non-commitically, waving his hand about. "Hound and Spike've been going through Spike's quarters in search of any clues, dunno if they've found anything. I'm supposed to talk to people, but so far no one's been any help." He pinned Blaster with his gaze. "So what about you? D'you know anything about this whole affair?"

Blaster feigned a wince. "Jazz, please, if I knew anything I would have told Hound and Spike the moment they asked. I was there when you found out about the theft, ya know. I'm hurt that you think so little of me! Hurt!" He put a hand to his chest and looked at Jazz with wide optics. The Porsche just laughed.

"All right then, drama queen!" He looked thoughtful for a second. "So, you haven't seen anyone acting… suspiciously since yesterday?"

"Just you, sneaking around asking questions", Blaster answered.

"Hey, it's part of all detective work being sneaky. I've learned that from TV." Jazz gave the boombox a light tap on the helmet.

"Ah yes, all the stuff you can learn from human entertainment. It's amazing."

"Sure is, B-boy. Anyway, have you met Mirage today?"

"Yeah, he came into the rec room while I was watching cartoons, just before he went to your investigation meeting. Why?"

"You don't think he's been acting weird today?"

Blaster thought about it for a moment. The spy had acted perfectly normal when he'd met him that morning, maybe slightly less aloof than usual, but that was probably Sideswipe's influence.

"No, why?"

Jazz seemed deep in thought again. "He was acting really weird at the briefing, he seemed upset with something but determined to hide it. He was also really short with me afterwards, which isn't really like him. I figured maybe something'd happened, but if you say he was normal before the briefing…" the saboteur trailed off, thinking. "Then it was probably something said at that meeting that upset him or something", he said mostly to himself, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "I wonder what?"

Blaster very carefully schooled his features into a neutral mien. The whole situation was hysterically funny to him, but if he started to laugh Jazz would immediately know he was hiding something. The Porsche seemed deep in his own line of thought though and didn't notice the boombox struggling to keep his smile hidden.

"Well", Blaster said, "I dunno. Maybe he's afraid of paperclips and doesn't like the idea of them being loose in the Ark? Maybe Sideswipe's finally driven him insane? Who knows?" He swiveled his chair back to watch the communication console. "Is that all? I probably should get back to work in case Prowl drops by and checks on me."

Jazz shook himself from his reverie. "Yeah, right. Well, thanks then, Blaster."

"No probs, man."

The Porsche left the room, and as the door swooshed shut behind him Blaster finally let out the laugh he'd been trying to contain. Oh my, this was excellent. He really had to make sure he would be there though when this whole thing was unraveled. Not that he had anything against Mirage, but it sure would be fun to watch his face as he was discovered. The spy would be so mortified.

He flipped through some com channels listlessly, half-heartedly trying to intercept any Decepticon transmissions, not really concentrating on it. After a while he switched on the radio, after making sure Prowl wasn't nearby, and tuned into a channel with rock music. Ah, Earth had a lot to offer entertainment-wise. He listened to a few songs, occasionally making sure no one was trying to contact him. He was so caught up in this that he started as he heard the door open again. He quickly turned off the music in case it was Prowl coming to see how he was doing, but relaxed when he saw Huffer enter the room. Oh, right, it was time for him to refuel, and Huffer would take over for him for the duration. The small 'bot grumbled a bit, motioning with his hand to Blaster to get out of the chair. Blaster took no heed to the grumbling though, just vacated the chair so the other 'bot could take his place, and made his way to the rec room.

He poured himself some energon, humming to himself. No one was around in the rec room to talk to, so the boombox made his way back to his quarters. He wanted to use his free mid-day time to listen to that latest tape Jazz had given him, something with a band called Huey Lewis and the News. Man, those humans sure could come up with stupid band names. He chuckled softly to himself. Sauntering into his quarters he dropped into his chair and picked up the tiny cassette case, opening it.

Blaster nearly fell out of his chair in shock when he saw what was inside it. Not the tape, uh-huh. Instead a mix of plastic splinters and paperclips tumbled out on his desk. He stared at them for what felt like ages, not really believing what he saw. How…?

"That slaggin', sneaking, pit-spawned son of a toaster…", he muttered angrily between clenched teeth, quickly gathering the shards and paperclips up in case someone should come in at that moment. He had to get rid of them, and fast. It wouldn't do to be found with the things, he certainly had no intention of this whole joke backfiring on him. Subspacing the tiny things he stepped out of his quarters, looking around wildly, trying to come up with an idea. Where could he put the stupid things where they couldn't be traced back to him?

Right at that moment he caught sight of Sunstreaker stepping out of his room across the hallway, and a grin spread across his face. The yellow Lamborghini turned towards him with a frown.

"What's so funny?" he asked, scowling at the boombox.

"Nothing", Blaster replied innocently. "Just admiring your paintjob, that's all."

Sunstreaker looked at him suspiciously, but did subconsciously preen a little at the flattery.

"You should. Unlike some here I take care of myself", he said.

"May I ask what kind of wax you're using? I mean, I'm still kinda new to this place and I haven't figured out yet what is the best brand and so, and I thought that you probably knew…"

Sunstreaker stared at him for a moment, narrowing his optics.

"Since when have you been interested in keeping up your appearance?"

"Hey, it's never too late to start, is it?" Blaster said, grinning.

"Right", the yellow mech replied, still obviously suspicious.

"Maybe you have a box that I could take a look at, so I know what to get…?" Blaster said carefully, earning an incredulous glance from the Lamborghini.

"Well, I guess that can't hurt", Sunstreaker finally said, shrugging and unsubspacing a small container, holding it up so Blaster could read the text on it. "Now if you excuse me, I need to go get some energy before– hey, watch it!" The warrior reeled back and dropped the box as Blaster seemed to stumble, and grabbed onto him to keep his balance. "You idiot! You could have ruined my paintjob!" He pushed the boombox away, muttering and checking over his body to see that he hadn't acquired any scratches, and then looked around for the box, snatching it away from Blaster when he noticed the large mech had picked it up.

"I'm sorry, I just lost my balance." Blaster held up his hands in defense. "And you look great, no scratches. In fact, you look splendid. Absolutely fabulous actually."

Sunstreaker mumbled something about stupid 'bots who couldn't keep their balance on a perfectly even stretch of floor, but seemed slightly mollified by Blaster's flattery.

"Doesn't seem to have done any harm this time, but don't do that again unless you want me to reassemble your tape deck into something a lot flatter and a lot less likely to fit a tape into."

"Right, right", Blaster said, "I promise. Next time I'll just fall on the floor."

Sunstreaker nodded, then turned and started to walk away. Blaster looked after him for a moment, wondering how smart this move really had been, and wondering whether he should start finding somewhere to hide. Because when Sunstreaker found those paperclips that Blaster had managed to sneak into his box of wax, there would be hell to pay.

Oh well, at least it'd be interesting.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I'm not all that happy with this part, it feels a bit like a filler, but well. I'll try to make the next part better.

* * *

Mirage walked towards the rec room with brisk steps, feeling a lot better than he had earlier that morning. The paperclips, those cursed little metal pieces, had been disposed of. In Blaster's quarters, none the less. The thought of that made him smile briefly. He was normally not a vengeful or spiteful 'bot, but there were some things that just _demanded_ retribution, and this was definitely one of them. Now, if Sideswipe succeeded in planting a rumor on the grapevine that Blaster was hiding something the team would have a reason to search his room, and oh, he would love to see Blaster's face as he realized he'd been had! There was no proof that anyone had put the paperclips in his room, Mirage had been very careful covering all his tracks, and no one would have a reason to believe it anyway if Blaster tried to blame him. The boombox was _so_ going down for this.

He strolled into the room and headed for a table in a corner, where Hound and Spike already sat, Hound sipping on some energon and Spike with one of those soft drinks that humans seemed so fond of. He pulled out a chair and sat down, trying to look calm and collected.

"So, you found anything?" he said, looking at the other two.

"Nothing." Hound said. "Whoever did this was good; there are no paint chips or anything in Spike's room that might be useful in finding the perpetrator."

Mirage nodded. He didn't expect them to find anything, Sideswipe was way too good for that, but he still felt a bit calmer. It would have been more difficult framing Blaster if it was discovered that it was actually Sideswipe who had been in Spike's room.

"Have you found anything out?" Hound continued, looking at the spy.

"No. Been trying to listen in to conversations and so, but so far nothing has come out of it. Well, except for the fact that Prowl has been seen sneaking into the med bay for reasons unknown. Smokescreen seems to think he's having a thing for our CMO, but Tracks claims he's suffering from some embarrassing affliction or something and is sneaking in stealing stuff. Also, apparently there's a rumor going round that you're completely infatuated with–"

"All right, all right!" Hound interrupted him with a smile, holding his hands up in a defensive gesture. "I only asked if you knew anything, I didn't ask for an update on the Ark's gossip!"

Spike looked up at him with a curious expression.

"Infatuated with who?" he said, cocking his head at Hound.

"What? No one!" Hound said. "Anyway, it's none of your business", he continued with an uncharacteristic hardness in his reply. "Now, where's Jazz? I hope he's had more luck than us, if we're ever going to solve this crime." He turned around in his chair, looking around for the saboteur.

Mirage just smiled at Hound's attempt to change the subject.

"Hey, Hound, _please_, it's not that big a deal, I'm sure Mirage would–" Spike said.

"Nonsense. We're going to get you your paperclips back, no matter what."

"Yeah. You said that." Spike sounded defeated, as if he'd been trying to tell the scout that all day. Mirage looked at the small human and wished that Prowl could have listened to him. But noo, the tactician just had to make a big deal out of this. He must be bored since Sides hadn't pranked him in days and there was no Decepticon activity. His CPU was probably fritzing from lack of meaningful things to do. Maybe that was why he'd been sneaking into the med bay, Mirage thought. He was interrupted in his contemplation of the 2IC when Jazz bounced up to their table and pulled a chair around, sitting down on it backwards with his arms resting on the back of the chair, grinning madly. Mirage looked up at him.

"Discovered anything, Jazz?"

The saboteur nodded.

"Well, I dunno if it's really a lead, but Blaster's been hidin' something, according to my sources." He leaned forward, smirking and lowering his voice. "Something that's approximately the size of a box of paperclips."

Mirage smiled. Sideswipe had succeeded, and now he would see Blaster going down.

"Shouldn't we check it out then?" Hound said, rising from his chair.

"I guess so." Mirage also got up, trying to mask his excitement.

"Guys, I'm afraid you'll have to go without me… I really need to go to school now", Spike said apologetically. "Bee promised to take me there now."

Hound nodded. "Well, I think we can manage without you. I promise you, you'll have those paperclips back when you return", he said encouragingly.

"Umm, right", Spike said as he jumped down from his specially-made chair and made his way towards Bumblebee who was waiting by the door. The others got up as well, and together they made their way to Blaster's quarters. Jazz rang the bell, and Blaster opened the door and looked at the group outside curiously.

"What's up?" he said.

"Blaster my man, we'd like to take a look around your quarters", Jazz said.

"Why? I need to get back to the com center soon, or Huffer'll complain my audios off."

"We have reason to believe you might be hiding something", Mirage said. "If you don't let us in we can get Prowl write a search warrant and then you'd _have_ to let us in."

"Might this 'something' perhaps be a box of paperclips?" Blaster said, grinning.

"How did you know that?" Hound said suspiciously.

"Oh come on, everyone on the Ark know by now that Spike's paperclips are missing and that you three are looking for them."

"Are you going to let us in or not?" Mirage said impatiently.

Blaster shrugged.

"Whatever. I'm not hiding anything, so feel free to look around. Just don't mess up my tapes, I just sorted them." He moved aside to let the others into his room, and the three mechs marched inside, starting to look around the room. Blaster just crossed his arms, leaning against the door frame.

"You need any help?" he offered. "I promise, I have not hidden those paperclips under my berth", he added to Hound who was just looking there. "Please credit me with a little more imagination than that."

Mirage glared at him, annoyed with Blaster's cheeriness. Well, Jazz was already looking through the stuff on Blaster's desk, and Mirage could see the cassette lying there. Soon Jazz would find the paperclips and that would wipe that smirk right off Blaster's face. Oh, that would so be worth the trouble he'd had in sneaking into this very room a few hours ago, hiding the paperclips. He returned to looking through the stuff on the shelf above Blaster's berth, not really concentrating since he knew perfectly well they weren't there.

"You missed something", Blaster said off-handedly from the door. Mirage turned towards him.

"What?"

"You didn't look in the box at the end. You want to do this properly, don't you?" Blaster grinned at him far too confidently.

"I just hadn't gotten there yet", Mirage grumbled and grabbed the box to look inside it. Nothing, which of course was expected. He put it back down and walked over to Jazz who was still looking through stuff on the desk.

"Anything?"

"Nope, not yet", the saboteur answered, rifling through some more stuff. "Oh hey, look at this!" He picked up the plastic cassette case, and Mirage fought back an evil grin. Oh, Blaster was _so_ busted now… he could already see the shock on Blaster's face as the paperclips would tumble out over his desk… ah, sweet sweet revenge…

"So, what didya think of it? Pretty good, huh?" Jazz's voice broke through his reverie. He focused again on Jazz, who had opened the case and was now holding up a tape with a small label on it. Wait. That was wrong… a tape? Where were the paperclips? He turned around and looked at the boombox, who just smiled back at him knowingly. Mirage stared at him. The _bastard_… he had discovered the paperclips somehow and gotten rid of them! Oh slag… he felt as if he'd been doused in cold water. Where could they be now? Surely Blaster hadn't returned them to his quarters? A small noise made him realize Sideswipe was trying to contact him, and he activated his radio.

"'_Raj, you there?"_

"_Yes. What is it, Sideswipe?"_

"_Umm… we have a problem. Sunny's here, and he wants to know why Blaster sneaked some paperclips in his wax."_


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I had a bit of trouble with the timeframe here, when it comes to the order of the episodes. Should I go by production order or the order in which they were broadcast? There's problems with both, but I finally decided to go with broadcast order. Thus, "Enter the Nightbird" now. I didn't want to rewrite the whole episode or anything, but I tried to write it so that you don't have to watch it to understand this.

* * *

As it was, Mirage didn't get the chance to try to explain to Sunstreaker why Blaster had put paperclips in his wax. It turned out that Optimus wanted him to join the group going to check out the new ninja robot, and so he had to leave the Ark hoping that Sideswipe could keep his brother under control, and somehow not mess things up, like making Sunstreaker mad enough to go tell everyone aboard the Ark about the paperclips. Driving out with the rest of the Autobots chosen to guard the new robot during the unveiling, he was at least thankful that Jazz and Hound also were amongst them. That meant they couldn't find something out about the paperclips while he was gone, at least. On the other hand, Blaster was still back at the Ark, and who knew what he would be doing? The communications officer knew perfectly well where the paperclips had come from, and Mirage did not put petty revenge above him. And how much would Sideswipe tell Sunstreaker?  
Probably everything, Mirage realized with a sinking feeling. Which led to the question, what would Sunstreaker do about it? Would he stick by his brother and try to protect him, or would he be mad enough to want to see the red twin caught? Questions, questions. And none which he could answer right now. There was nothing to it; he just had to wait until they got back to the Ark and see what he could do then.  
But still the thoughts swirled around in his mind, all the while during the drive to the university, and all the time during the boring unveiling of the female ninja robot (honestly, those humans, a _ninja_ robot? Why?). He wasn't interrupted in his depressing thoughts until the Decepticons decided to drop by.  
_Well_, he thought as Rumble pulled out his piledrivers and started to demolish the building, _isn't that just typical? _

In the end, it all turned into a usual Decepticon attack. After a bit of shooting the 'Cons managed to steal the robot and then escape, leaving a devastated university and the defeated Autobots behind. And just as usual, the Autobots returned to the Ark to patch up their wounded and plan their next move. Mirage just sighed as he drove back. A Decepticon plot meant that everyone would have to be on alert, and that there would probably be a bigger fight tomorrow or so. Well, maybe it would take people's minds off those paperclips. Maybe Prowl would forget all about retrieving them, and everything could go back to normal. It wasn't very likely though, Prowl wasn't in the habit of forgetting things, even small things.  
How had everything spiraled out of control like this? Primus must really hate him or something.

_Now, this just isn't _fair! _Primus really _does_ hate me, doesn't he?_ Mirage thought as he was finally making his way back to his quarters after checking in with Ratchet and leaving a report with Prime, and he ran straight into the Decepticon-controlled ninja robot that immediately commenced beating him up until he could call for help. As the help arrived and chased her away the only thing he could think was _'well, this day can't possibly get any worse now, can it?'_ before limping back to the medbay and Ratchet's tender care. He endured the muttering of the CMO, and then quickly made his way back to his quarters. As he reached the door it opened by itself, and he frowned. Sideswipe must have forgotten to lock it. He made a mental note to berate the red twin for it (this wasn't the first time it had happened), and slipped inside before the universe decided to dump something else on his head. The room was empty, no Sideswipe, and he sank tiredly down on his berth, rubbing his jaw absently. That man-made robot sure had a punch. He let his gaze wander the room for a moment, and that was when he discovered the broken box on his desk. Getting up from the berth he grabbed it and subspaced it, opening a channel to Sideswipe at the same time.

"_Sides?"_

"_Mirage! Finally! Are you back? Hey, that female ninja Nightbird thingie just came in here and stole–"_

"_Yes, I know"_, Mirage replied, rubbing his jaw again. His whole head was aching and Sideswipe's excited voice didn't exactly help._"Sides, why are the paperclips on my desk?"_

"_Well, we couldn't leave them in Sunny's wax, could we?"_

"_I mean, why did you just leave them on my desk? Couldn't you get rid of them?"_

"_Uhh… well, you see, I didn't really have much time. I was called on duty earlier than I thought due to all of you running into those 'Cons, and I, well, eh, I forgot about them."_

"_You forgot."_ Mirage deadpanned. _"You also, apparently, forgot to lock my door. Anyone could have waltzed in and seen them."_

There was a small pause.

"_Oops."_

"_In fact, I have no idea of telling if anyone _have_ been in here, seen them, and decided to go to Prowl with the information."_ Mirage said, still deadpan.

"_Umm, I'm sorry?"_

"_Whatever. We'll talk about this tomorrow. I'm exhausted."_ He ended the transmission and lay down on his berth, when there was a knock on the door.

"Oh for crying out loud…" he said to himself before getting up again, walking to the door. He hit the button and the door slid open to admit Jazz.

"Hi there 'Raj," the black-and-white said cheerily. "I hope I'm not disturbing you?"

Mirage sighed. "Actually, I'm really tired and was just about to recharge for the night, so please, can't this wait until the morning?"

"Hey, I just wanted to check on ya, make sure you're okay. That was a nasty hit you got from that ninja thing."

"Yes, but I am okay, Jazz. There's no need to worry about me, I'm just tired that's all."

Jazz narrowed his optics. "Are you sure? Because ya don't look very well."

"Just a small headache." He put his hand to his forehead, looking at Jazz with a pleading expression. Damn, but his head was really getting worse. The stress he felt for the whole paperclip business wasn't helping either, and he reached out with a hand to steady himself against the doorframe as he felt the world around him wobble slightly.

"Whoa there!" Jazz was suddenly close to him, holding him up. "Are you sure you don't want me to fetch Ratchet?"

"No… no… it's okay… I just need some rest, okay?"

Jazz didn't look fully convinced, but he nodded.

"Right, I'll help ya." The saboteur led the exhausted spy to the berth and gently sat him down. Mirage gratefully sank down on the berth and curled up on his side, one hand to his aching head. He almost didn't notice as Jazz bent down to pick something up from the floor.

"Umm, Mirage?"

Mirage lifted his head an inch to look at the saboteur, who held something up in his right hand, something too small for Mirage to see what it was.

"Yes?"

"Why do you have a paperclip on your floor?"


	11. Chapter 11

Sideswipe was bored. He sat slouched back in a chair in the security room, trying his best to ignore Red Alert's incessant muttering about the lacking security in the Ark. The twitchy red-and-white had almost blown a fuse when he learned that Nightbird had managed not only to enter the Ark, but managed to steal the world energy chip, right under the collecting noses of everyone. He grumbled about the stupidity of having alerting sensors that anyone could easily spot, and about the utter idiocy of having the top of the volcano virtually unprotected.  
Sideswipe had listened to him for all of five minutes before zoning off, and now he was sitting in front of a console mostly just thinking how nice it would be to be back in quarters where he could relax with some video games or a movie or something. He nodded every now and then when it seemed appropriate; agreeing with whatever it was Red was saying. He kept one optic on the screens in front of him, however: whatever other people might think of him he wasn't about to shirk his duty, even if it was something as incredibly boring as watch a screen showing an empty hallway in the Ark.  
A soft buzzing alerted him to the fact that someone was trying to contact him, and he perked up as he recognized Mirage's frequency.

"_Sideswipe?"_ Mirage sounded a bit tired over the link, not surprising, considering it was really late. Or really early, if you wanted to think that way.

"_Hey babe, what's up?"_ Sideswipe asked.

"_Sideswipe, can you please come to my quarters when your shift is over"_, Mirage sent. Sideswipe frowned a bit. Mirage ought to be getting some recharge, not wait for him.

"_Why?"_ he asked, frowning as he realized he sounded a bit hard. _"I mean, I don't mind, but it's late… has something happened?"_

"_Please, I– please, __just come."_

Sideswipe nodded to himself, making Red Alert look at him with a sideways glance. The security director obviously had caught the transmission, but protocol demanded that he didn't hack into it unless he had a valid reason. Prime was very protective of everyone's personal integrity.

"_Of course, I'll be there in about an hour, if Red releases me from here in time."_

"_I'll see you then. Mirage out."_

Sideswipe leaned back again in his chair, tipping it backwards and balancing it precariously, simply because he knew it annoyed the security director. He ignored the glance being sent his way that strongly suggested he should tell Red Alert who he had talked to. Of course, Sideswipe had no intention of telling, and Red couldn't force him to. Well, not unless he actually had anything untoward to suspect, at least. He set his gaze upon the screen again, wondering what Mirage might have wanted. It couldn't be anything serious, or he'd have asked Red to let Sideswipe go earlier. Maybe the spy wasn't as tired as he sounded, and wanted a repeat of last night's activities… Sideswipe grinned at the thought. Now, that would be nice. He hummed a bit to himself, turning in his seat only when Red finally snapped at him.

"Would you stop that infernal noise?"

Sideswipe raised an optic ridge.

"Of course, Red. I didn't know it was bothering you", he said much too innocently. Not that Red was buying it.

"Quit the show, Sideswipe, I know perfectly well that you're up to no good. Just don't try anything on my shift, or I'll have you put on cleaning duty for the rest of our stay here."

"Honestly, Red, I wasn't–"

"Don't try that with me. You're always plotting something, aren't you? Disrupting the security, making more work for me…" he fell back into muttering, and Sideswipe turned his attention back to the boring screen in front of him, imagining what the hallway would look like if it was painted purple instead of orange.

An hour of boringness later (nothing had happened, the hallway he was watching was as empty as ever) he finally was relieved by a sleepy Tracks, and made his way towards Mirage's quarters. He punched in the code and entered the room.

"'Raj?" he said in a low voice, noting the still figure on the berth. He locked the door behind him and walked up to the berth, sitting down on the edge. "'Raj, you awake?" He gently touched the other's shoulder, shaking him slightly.

"Mmmrrg…" Mirage mumbled, slowly unshuttering his optics and looking up at Sideswipe with a tired look. "Oh… you're here."

"I said I'd come, didn't I?" Sideswipe said, helping the spy sit up against the wall. "Hey, what happened to you?"

Mirage rubbed his jaw absently. "Hmm? I got punched by that ninja robot when she got in here."

"You let a human-built robot punch you?"

Mirage glared at him.

"She surprised me, okay? And she's Decepticon-enhanced, and she was really fast."

"Yeah, well. Anyway, what did you want me here for? What is so important it can't wait until the morning? 'Cause you know, you really look like you could need some rest."

"Mm", the spy agreed, leaning his head back against the wall. "I just wanted to do this." He reached out with his arm and swatted Sidewipe over the helmet. The red mech recoiled in surprise.

"Ouch! Hey, what did you do that for?"

"_That_ was for failing to pick up all the paperclips from my floor", the spy said in a tired voice.

"What? You hit me because of– oh." Sideswipe grimaced as understanding dawned. "Someone found one, huh?"

Mirage nodded.

"Jazz came in here, said he was worried 'bout me, said I'd been acting a bit weird all day, and I was so tired and my head was hurting so he kinda helped me back to the berth, and, well, he found one."

"Huh", Sideswipe said. "So… I guess he knows then?"

"You know just as well as I do that there's not much of a point keeping anything from him. So, yes, I told him everything. He said he'd already suspected something anyway, so I guess all I did was confirming his suspicions."

Sideswipe sat silent for moment.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry", he said in a low voice. "I never would have guessed things would have turned out like this when I took those paperclips. If I'd known I'd never have done it." He inched closer tentatively; reaching out for the spy and drawing him close when the blue mech didn't protest.

"It's okay, Sides. I wouldn't have guessed either." Mirage relaxed into the embrace, leaning his head on Sideswipe's shoulder.

"So… I assume Jazz will be telling Prowl about this tomorrow?" Sideswipe said, wincing slightly at the thought. Tomorrow it would be goodbye freedom, welcome scrubbing brush.

"Actually…" Mirage started as he pulled back slightly to look Sideswipe in the optics, a small grin creeping over his face despite his tiredness. "When I told him that Blaster knew about the paperclips he got that shrewd look, and said something about Blaster being way too smug for his own best."

Sideswipe's optics widened in surprise.

"So... he's not turning us in?" he said hopefully.

Mirage shook his head slowly. "No. In fact, he did say something about taking Blaster down a notch. He wouldn't say any more, but he wanted the box and, well, I could see no reason not to give it to him."

Sideswipe whistled. "Poor Blaster will never know what hit him."

Mirage laughed softly, leaning against Sideswipe. "Probably not. He deserves it, though."

"Yeah. So, am I right in saying that this matter is out of our hands now?"

"It would seem like it. Unless Jazz was lying to me and intends to turn us in after all", Mirage said as he twisted about slightly, curling up against Sideswipe's side. The red mech put an arm around him and leaned in to place a small kiss on the blue helmet.

"Nah. Jazz doesn't do stuff like that."

He felt Mirage nod against his side, and he gently eased the spy down in the berth, lying down next to him.

"Now, just rest. I think you need it, after this day", he murmured, noting for the first time that he was pretty tired himself.

"Mmm", Mirage said tiredly. "You know, Sides…"

"What?"

"Next time we get an idea like this, let's go _buy_ the supplies like normal mechs."

Sideswipe chuckled.

"Noted."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to post this... I've had a really bad cold and apparently the evil little viruses decided it wasn't enough to give me a runny nose and a sore throat and a cough, but they stole all my inspiration as well. Anyway, here it is, the last chapter. Whoho!

* * *

"Mirage! Hey,where have you been?"

Bumblebee waved at the Ligier that approached the Ark and transformed into the lithe form of the blue-and-white spy.

"Just out for a drive", Mirage answered with a small smile, looking down at the minibot. "Are you going to take Spike to school now?"

"Yep", Bumblebee replied cheerfully and transformed as Spike came running out from the Ark, a bunch of papers under one arm. "Didn't know you liked to be up this early just to drive."

Mirage shrugged. "It's nice every now and then."

Bumblebee laughed. "Yes, it is. If you get up even earlier the sunrises can be rather spectacular here. Ever seen one?"

"No Bee, can't say that I have. Hello Spike, got all your papers?" He turned to the small human who had reached them and was dumping the heap of papers on Bee's passenger seat.

"Yeah, everything should be there", Spike said as he walked around to get into the VW.

"Did you find your missing paperclips?" Mirage asked, keeping a perfectly neutral expression.

"Oh god, please don't remind me of that. I'm never gonna tell that something of mine's been stolen again when Prowl's around. He took it so seriously! But you know that of course… not to talk about Red Alert. Man that 'bot's uptight!" Spike shook his head in exasperation.

"So… you didn't find them?"

Spike looked up at him with a puzzled expression while Bumblebee started to giggle, frame shaking.

"You don't know? Of course, if you've been out driving all morning…"

"Know what?"

"Oh, nothing", Bumblebee said, merriment evident in his voice. "Well, if you want to know… go ask Blaster. I'm sure he'll tell you."

"Hey, what–" Mirage began, but Spike had already hopped into the Volkswagen and the car pulled away and disappeared down the road. Mirage just shook his head and walked into the Ark with a vague suspicion of what Bumblebee was talking about. A small smile curled his lips as he turned into the hallway leading to Blaster's quarters. Sauntering up to the right door he pressed the chime and stood back to let the occupant open the door.

Nothing happened.

He pressed the chime again, wondering if Blaster maybe hadn't heard him.

"Blaster? You in there?" He frowned and brought his hand up to knock on the door. Maybe the door chime was malfunctioning or something.

"Don't bother, 'Raj, he's not there."

Mirage turned around to see a grinning Jazz walking down the hallway next to a smirking Sunstreaker.

"He's not? Where is he then?"

"Prowl's office", Sunstreaker supplied.

"What's he doing there?" Mirage asked, although he had a sneaking suspicion.

Jazz adopted a wide-opticed look of innocence. "Why would we know? He's probably done something to upset Prowl. Do you know, Sunny?"

"Me? Why would I know anything?" Sunstreaker said, mimicking Jazz's look.

"See? We have no idea what he's done. None whatsoever."

Mirage shook his head. "Right. And Megatron is really a nice guy."

Jazz laughed. "He is. Haven't you heard? Yesterday he rescued a cat from a tree and helped an old woman cross the street. Last I heard he was going to rebuild his base into a sanctuary for endangered dolphins."

Sunstreaker stared at Jazz with an incredulous look, at which the saboteur just laughed.

"Anyway, nice seeing you, 'Raj, but we really must go. Have things to do."

Sunstreaker nodded. "People to see."

"That is, Sunny has a date with a fancy new car wash and I wanna check it out to. They play music in it while washing! You gotta love those humans sometimes. I wonder if they will actually play 'Car Wash'? That song is groovy! Oh, and Mirage?" Jazz gave a small wink. "You don't have to worry anymore." And with that they were gone, leaving Mirage in the hallway outside Blaster's door wondering exactly what J had meant with that last bit. It was obvious that Blaster was somehow in trouble because of something Jazz (and Sunstreaker. It was obvious those two were hiding something together) had done, and the spy was willing to bet his photon disruptor that it had to do with paperclips. So… had they managed to make it seem like Blaster was the one who stole the paperclips? He let a smile creep over his faceplates.

"'Raj, there you are!"

He turned to see Sideswipe coming towards him, looking faintly worried. The red mech came up to him and brought a hand up to touch his cheek. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over… I woke up and you were just gone! Don't you know it's bad form to just leave like that?" Sideswipe said, but the cheeky smile on his face belied the scolding words.

"I've just been out, driving", Mirage said, not wanting to reveal the true reason he'd sneaked away just yet. "And I'm sorry I didn't wake you, but you looked so peaceful and I wanted you to rest."

"You should have left a note or something then, so I wouldn't worry."

"A note? Worry? Please, Sideswipe, I'm not a youngling; you don't have to worry about me. I know you're protective, but I can take care of myself, you know that."

Sideswipe looked faintly ashamed and gave his lover a small smile while caressing the spy's cheek. "Yeah… well… I know, but–"

"No buts", Mirage interrupted gently as he lifted a hand and took Sideswipe's hand in it, bringing it away from his cheek. "It's very sweet of you to care like that, but I need to have my own space, you know?" He softly stroke the fingers of the hand he held. "Doesn't mean I don't care about you." Sideswipe nodded. "Now", Mirage said with a smile, "do you know anything about what Jazz and your brother did to Blaster?"

Sideswipe looked at him, surprised. "Sunny helped Jazz?"

"It seems like it; at least they both were very amused by something, so I assume that he did."

"Well, I have no idea. I just got up and then I went to look for you."

Mirage cocked his head. "You haven't even energized?"

"Well, no."

"Then, young mech, it's off to the lounge with you to get some energon", Mirage said in a no-nonsense voice as he spun Sideswipe around and ushered the Lambo in front of him down the hall.

"Hey, I can walk myself; you don't have to push me!"

"I know, but it's _fun_ pushing you around", Mirage said with a small grin. He was feeling rather good today, his headache was gone, and if what Jazz had said was true so was his paperclip problem.

"I'll show you fun", Sideswipe said as he suddenly turned around and tapped Mirage on the shoulder. "You're it!" he said as he turned once more and ran off down the corridor, disappearing behind a corner. Mirage just stared at his retreating back for a second before he transformed and tore after the cheeky twin. It wasn't really considered nice to drive around in alt form inside the Ark, but it wasn't punishable either, and for once Mirage was in a good enough mood that he didn't care about propriety. He quickly overtook the running Sideswipe, who looked over his shoulder as he heard the Ligier engine approaching, and before the red mech even had a chance to transform himself he ran into his left leg, effectively tripping the Lambo. He executed a perfect u-turn, transformed and threw himself on top of Sideswipe, pinning him to the ground.

"Gotcha."

"You _cheated_", Sideswipe said.

"I learned from the best", Mirage said, grinning down at the prone mech.

"Shouldn't you be taking that to your room instead of here where everyone can see you?" a good-humored voice asked, and Mirage looked up to see Smokescreen looking down at them, and to discover that they were just outside the lounge which happened to be filled with Autobots. Not only that, he was indeed draped over Sideswipe in a rather inappropriate way. He quickly stood up and offered the other mech a hand.

"We were just playing tag", Sideswipe said grinning, at which Smokescreen nodded.

"I see." He smiled widely and stood aside to let the two into the lounge, where Mirage sat down at an empty table, feeling mortified while Sideswipe went to get some energon for them.

"So, anyway, when Blaster refused to open the door even though he was due for guard duty with Trailbreaker, and he must know how little patience Prowl has with mechs who don't keep time, 'Breaker called for Red Alert to open the door, since he figured something must be wrong."

Mirage perked up at the mention of Blaster. At the table next to him Bluestreak sat, apparently telling the other occupants at the table some story about the boombox.

"Well, Red came there, and Ratchet too in case something was really wrong with Blaster, and then Red used some kind of override on the door, and you know what they saw when the door opened?"

"Blaster?" Skids said, making Bluestreak look at him for a moment.

"Yeah, well, him too, but you know what they found in his room?"

Bluestreak paused for a second, apparently reveling being in the spotlight, the centre of attention around the table. He leaned forward, as if to tell a secret.

"Paperclips."

"Paperclips?" Inferno asked.

"You got it. The whole room was filled with them little things, everywhere. There were boxes of the stuff all over, on all the shelves, on his desk, on the floor, on the berth. But the best part is that whoever managed to sneak in the paperclips also had painted Blaster with magnetic paint, and then poured paperclips all over him."

Laughter exploded around the table.

"You mean he was covered in little pieces of wire? Wow", Skids said between giggles. "What did Ratchet say?"

"I heard he didn't really say anything as much as scream… he had to pick all the paperclips off by hand before he could remove the paint, so whoever did this better hide from him if he ever finds out who did it. I mean, I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of _his_ ire."

Mirage leaned back in his chair, grinning widely. So _that_ had been what Jazz and Sunstreaker had been up to… not that he would tell anyone. He made a mental note to thank Jazz, while Bluestreak continued.

"Anyway, last I heard was Prowl wanting to talk to Blaster about the whole thing, and oh yes, there was one strange thing… when Red asked Blaster who could have done this to him he kinda just shook his head and muttered something about never watching MacGyver again. Do any of you understand what he meant by that?"

The mechs around the table all shook their heads, while Mirage snickered to himself at his table, thinking of the box in his subspace. The box that was the reason he'd left the Ark that morning. He'd gone into Portland, driving around until he found the kind of store he was searching for, and with the help of a helpful girl he'd managed to procure the thing that was going to be a small present to Sideswipe. He looked up as said mech came up by the table, sipping on some energon.

"Hey babe, what are you smiling at?" Sideswipe said, sitting down.

Yes, it had been worth getting up early this morning, hard as it was sneaking away. The look upon Sideswipe's face as he opened the box of super-size, extra large paperclips would be worth it all.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking that this could be a great day."


End file.
